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Swingers - Further Information

The following is some additional terminology that you may come across in the swinging scene. Scroll down the page or click the link below.

Urban Swingers, Bisexuals, Polyamory, Hot Wife, Singles, Dogging, Back to Swingers FAQ's

Urban Swingers

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The term ‘urban swingers’ was used to apply to a form of swinging which took off in the late 1990’s with ‘Fever Parties’. This ‘style’ of swinging generally is aimed at affluent ‘urban’ young people where the upper age limit may be around 40 and can sometime average as low as the late 20’s.

There are a number of clubs/organizations, which are said to cater specifically for this type of swinging (Fever, Club Liberty, Lounge Parties and Belle Baise) and hold events in ‘up market’ venues and ask guest to dress in evening attire. These events have been successful and are no longer exclusively ‘urban’. It is said that that ‘younger couples’ use the term ‘The Lifestyle’ to encompass swinging activities as they are uncomfortable with the traditional term ‘swingers’.

Bisexuals

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Female bisexuality is very common in the swinging scene and considered 'normal' to participants.

Male bisexuality is less common in the swinging scene, but is becoming more common and more accepted. More openly bi men and bisexual couples (male-female couples where both partners are bisexual) are appearing on the scene. Whether this is due to increasing acceptance in the scene or greater numbers of men "turning bi" is open to discussion. Depending on the club or social situation, male bisexuality among swingers may either be frowned upon, or openly accepted. Generally, however, the open minded nature of the Lifestyle community as a whole is conducive to acceptance of bisexual men (though some choose not to engage in sexual activity with them or with their partners.)

Clubs for gay or lesbian couples, where available, operate quite separately from the broader swinging community. The organised gay community attempts to be tolerant of this to some degree, but also exhibits some characteristics of biphobia. Namely, they are hesitant to accept more "fluid" sexualities such as bisexuality, believing that it undermines the category of homosexuality as a whole. The primary difference, though, is that the Lifestyle has, at its heart, a focus on sexual activity while the gay community is centered around sexual identity.

Concordantly, a heterosexual male trying to fulfill a fantasy of having two women would be out-of-place in the lesbian community. Claiming to be "female seeks female" where a "couple seeks female" categorization is more appropriate may also draw negative reactions. Some groups for bisexual women within the organised gay/lesbian community, such as [6], therefore limit their membership to women only.

Polyamory

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Polyamory specifically refers to individuals who sustain multiple emotional relationships with other individuals. This allows for some overlap within the swinging community. Polyamorists may engage in activity common to swingers such as group sex and partner swapping. Swingers, through extended sexual engagements with the same partners, may also develop strong friendships with these partners. Deeper emotional relationships, however, are not the norm and are considered a rarity. Most swingers distinguish between the multiple emotional relationships present in polyamory, and the multiple sexual relationships present in swinging.

Hot Wife

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The term hot wife refers to a married woman who has sex with men other than her spouse with her spouse's consent. In most cases the husbands of these women will enjoy watching, hearing, or knowing about their wife's adventures. Often the husbands take part, sometimes by engaging in a threesome, or sometimes just arranging dates for their wives. A distinct subculture of Hotwiving is Cuckolding. This subculture is generally defined by a relationship in which the husband enjoys the humiliation of his wife being sexually satisfied by other men.

Singles

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The acceptance of singles at swinging events varies from geographic area to geographic area. Some swinging 'clubs' have a policy of allowing only couples and females, but most do allow single men on selected nights. Single females are also often admitted at reduced admission price. Parties and events may differ, however, and are often restricted to couples or couples and single females only.

The reasons for this vary. Most (but certainly not all) of the people who pay to participate in swinger events are male-female couples and most swinging couples are more interested in interacting with other couples or with single women than with single men. Thus, swinger events strive to achieve a balance between male and female participants or have a (usually slightly) larger number of females than males.

A common complaint among swingers is that single men change the tone and nature of event. It should be noted that while outright hostility towards single men is rarely prevalent, an abundance of single males is rarely looked upon favourably in any swinging context. When single males are permitted their number are usually limited by high entrance fees or stringent membership requirements.

Conversely, some oppose the involvement of any singles of either sex in swinging due because of the fear that they might split existing couples.

Dogging

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Dogging is a British term for swinging based in cars that takes place in a public but reasonably secluded area. There are several known dogging spots across the UK where people go after dark, typically to engage in voyeurism and exhibitionism but also to take part in group sex.